Getting too attached

One problem I have with anything I do creatively is getting too attached.  It makes it very hard to do any editing and even harder to accept any criticism.  It's as if someone has turned to me and said "I don't like your child" even when it's me reviewing what I've done.  When I try to cut word count, oh dear that's a wrench, I find myself mentally apologising to the words that have to be wiped out.  It's perhaps an extension of my tendency to anthropomorphise everything.  It's hard for me to throw things away in the name of making space because the things have done nothing wrong and it's not their fault I have too many of them.  It's even worse if I've had a lot of contact with something that simply wears out, like a toothbrush.  Oh dear lord, the anguish when I have to replace something.

So I'm sitting here doing some editing on a short story which I don't think is short enough and I still have a fair bit to write at the end.  I'm going through it paragraph by paragraph reducing the word count and it's so hard.  Ok, some sentences I look at and think that's awful and make quick work of cutting them up.  But some of them, there's an unhealthy attachment.  It's not as though by taking them out of something I've written that I'm expunging them from the English language.  They still exist whether they're on my page or not.  Why do I feel bad for them?  Why does it hurt me to delete a word or two or worse replace them with something simpler?  I mean, does a surgeon break his heart for every appendix he removes, or a dentist for every tooth pulled?  I'm a (reasonably) sane and rational person and I freely admit this is far from sensible behaviour.

But how nuts am I really?  I remember it was with some relief that I read Arthur Conan Doyle about writing.  He said that Walter Scott would often write and then look back over his work and not recognise a bit of it.  When he wrote it was as though he dictated what a voice outside of himself had told him.  I've always said that myself and generally people just look at me funny and nod.  The story writes itself using my hands and eyes.  I just channel it onto the paper.  Sometimes, if I don't sit down to it, the voice takes a huff and stops telling me the story.  I'm wondering whether because this happens to me, this curious mental process, when I edit part of me feels like I'm carving up something someone else has done.  Is that why I feel so apologetic when I reword things or cut chunks out?  Am I offending a muse that I can't see but can hear?  A muse is a celestial being though and I always imagine them as sweetness and light where what I write is usually quite dark and often brutal.  Is it a muse or a demon that writes through me or is it some detached part of my own psyche that I'm still afraid to offend?  I don't want it to stop speaking to me, whatever it is.


Whether it's a misplaced anthropomorphism, a muse, a demon, or just a part of me, I'm definitely too attached to what I create.  Will that make me too worried to send it out into the world to be ripped apart and disparaged by anyone who feels like it?  I hope not.  Perhaps it's time to let my brain-children make their own way in the world while I wait for them to let me know how they're getting on.  There I go anthropomorphising again.  They are not alive, Juliet, stop getting so attached!

Celebrating stupid

I was going to tweet something along the lines of "Thank you Internet, thank you stupid people! Another novel idea is born".  Then I thought what if everyone thought I was referring to them, because social media has that bizarre effect.  I posted song lyrics on facebook once and everyone thought I was having a nervous breakdown.  Everything gets twisted and taken personally.  I used to post cryptic status updates so only those in the know would get the message then others started responding based on their own very misguided interpretations.  You can lock individual updates down now so code is no longer necessary.

Anyway, that wasn't the point.  The point is you can sit there torturing yourself over inability to come up with a new storyline when really, if you spend ten minutes online, there's a wealth of them sitting there waiting to be picked up.  Grab your local paper and read the small, obscure stories and let your imagination run wild.

I guess I get the 'invent a back-story' thing from my Mum.  She was always looking for reasons for the strangest of things.  "Ee, I wonder why that is" or "What did he do that for? Isn't it weird" were just a couple of her catchphrases.  I wish she'd had the confidence to write what she was wondering.  There would have been some great fiction spun from a shoe in the middle of the road or the clouds making a peculiar shape one morning.  The difference between Mum and me is that I had her as a Mum.  Thanks Mum.

So I've had a great bolt of inspiration striking me out of the blue this morning just looking at a ridiculous news story online that would never have come about in itself without stupid people.  I mean people with a severe and potentially fatal lack of common sense, not people as a whole as in stupid weather, stupid traffic.  People in general are not quite as stupid as those spectacular few who lull you into a false sense of security by surviving into adulthood then do something monumentally stupid.  Those people.  You know the ones.  They do things like light a match to check for a gas leak.  There are so many ways I could go with this idea that it might become a whole tribe of offspring from one apparently hermaphroditic thought.  Really should blog off and jot some notes down!

Easily distracted?

There are many things that distract me when I sit down to write.  Sometimes it's the cat harassing me for food even when there's still plenty in her bowl.  If you've read Journal of a Cat of Leisure, you might have some idea of how exacting she can be.

It's rarely the phone - I just don't give my number out preferring to email - I like it quiet.  When someone does phone, it's either a cold call that's somehow managed to get past the telephone preference service, or one of very few people.  If it's the former, it drags me out of the 'zone' and although it takes no time to end the call, regaining momentum can take time.  If it's the latter then it might be a while before I get back to my train of thought.

It's rarely the TV.  Generally I have no idea what's on in the background until something really loud happens.  There are few shows I actually sit and watch.  If it's something like Jerry Springer, which occasionally sneaks up in the schedule without me noticing (and I really should be in bed by then anyway), there's a reflex response of channel changing before the screaming begins but it's reflex and doesn't alter my pattern.  Occasionally I hear a random sentence that makes my ears prick up and I end up saying something on facebook or tweeting.

There's the worst distraction though, and upon reflection I admit, I might be just a little bit OCD.  When I start up my laptop, I like to have my programs in a certain order on the taskbar so that I can switch between them without scanning through them.  I get most upset when Windows decides to rearrange everything without asking me.  I'm so particular about it, it applies not only to the applications in the taskbar but also to the tabs in the browser and the order I open documents, so when stacked I know which is which.  Right  now, I have 9 applications running, one of which has 7 stacked documents and I don't have to distract myself to refer between any of them.  Sad, right?  The distraction is the browser in the taskbar.  If the last page I viewed was a social media page, it stays on top and the number of new notifications or tweets or messages appears there, ticking up and up.  It draws my eye whenever it changes and I invariably end up looking at what's waiting.

Now, here's where the OCD thing comes out.  Why not just close my browser or view one of the other pages last?  I can't.  If the browser is not the second from left application on the bar, I can't work.  If I can't see the ticking numbers, I worry that when I do look there'll be a hundred and it'll take ages to check.  This doesn't happen when I'm doing my day job from home.  I have a different order of programs and a different set of pages, but it ties to a different mindset.  At the office, the desk has to be laid out a certain way before I even start opening programs.  I've looked at neurolinguistic programming to help me figure out my odd behaviours and it seems to be something I've done from childhood.  The pencil case in a specific place on the school desk, and I could never concentrate without a pen in my hand.

So really, is the distraction social media, or is it my own psychological programming?  Writing this blog in itself has dragged me away from what I was writing before this and I'm only writing this blog because I was being distracted by the number of tweets going up.  Maybe I should do something completely unrelated for a while!

How to React to Criticism

Last blog, I looked at the types of criticism you tend to get and how to look at the benefits of it. So how should you react when you do get a critique? Well, the simplest answer is whatever the type of critique, if you say anything at all in response, say thank you!

Thanks, you're very kind 

You're glad someone liked your work and gave you good feedback. It never hurts to say thank you for a kindness. Ask yourself though whether you want to get caught up in correspondence. Do you know the person already? What if tomorrow you have a million positive reviews? Will you respond to them all? Post a message on your website or fan page or Twitter feed saying thank you to all the people out there who've given their support. Of course, if it's from your editor/publisher/agent/friend, you know them and you should acknowledge their message personally.

Thanks (for nothing) 

We all get criticism that verges on the complaint. It stings and it would be so easy to lash out. Don't! We're all passionate about our work, but we don't have to be aggressive. Sometimes the best course of action is to take no action at all. You only need to respond if it's from someone from whom you've actively sought feedback. You can otherwise ignore the anti-fan mail just as you can blanket-respond to the fan mail. Walk away, read a positive review and then if you still think it's necessary, come back to the negative with the positive thoughts in mind. Everyone has an opinion and they're entitled to express it. Shrug your shoulders, laugh and move on. Whatever you do, do not make yourself the bad guy. If you absolutely must respond to your number one anti-fan, it's best not to get into a 'debate' and remember to say thank you. If you do send a spiky response, before you know it people will know more about your bad temper than your work!

Thank you for the feedback I requested 

These are quite often a mixture of positive and negative comments and you do need to respond. You asked for this, you knew it was coming. In the case of requested feedback, look at each point and be objective. The positives should be noted for future reference. The negatives too and they might just be right. Maybe you could have structured that chapter better, maybe you have used too much passive voice, maybe you can use the comments to revise your work. Don't be argumentative. If you feel strongly about a point, say you can see where the critic is coming from and explain why you did things the way you did. You might find in explaining yourself that the critic's way is actually better, in which case start again and explain what you intend to do as a result. If there's no reason given for a negative comment, ask for more information. 'Don't like this' is not useful feedback - you need to know the what and the why of it. Be polite! "I'm interested to know what it was that you disliked about this part" is a good starting point.

Stay objective.  We're conditioned through linguistics to think of criticism as a bad thing. Criticism simply means the process of giving a critique. At school we called it Critical Appreciation which helps show the positive side. A critique means that someone took the time to look at your work in enough detail to write an informed response. It's the same as your best friend being honest about your new haircut and only your best friend will be brutally honest about that. They won't be so honest about your work because they know how much it means to you. That is where the critic becomes your friend and tells you plainly what's good and what's bad. They're objective and you need to be objective too.

How to View Criticism

When you do anything creative, whether you're a writer, photographer, musician or chef, criticism is a gauntlet you'll at some point have to run.  Some will be negative, some will be positive; some will be constructive and some will be barbed.  In this first blog on the sticky subject, let's look at the types of criticism you'll get and how to deal with them.

The ego boost

Whatever you do, somebody somewhere will love it.  Everyone is over the moon to get a critique from that person.  If your first critique comes from that person, it's an amazing boost to your self-esteem.  Don't let it go to your head!  For every one that loves it, there's probably at least one that hates it.  Listen to the positives and pay attention to the points your new fan likes best.  Keep those in mind for future reference.  This critic will come back for more, so maybe send them a thank you.

The assassination

That one that really hates what you've done might be the first person to give critique.  It's the inverse of the ego boost.  For every one that hates your work, there's probably one that loves it.  Don't take it personally.  Creative work is very subjective, but criticism can be too and it can sting.  Revisit your work and see if you can understand where negative criticism comes from.  They might have a valid point.  Look at the critic's views carefully and do nothing about them until you've had a chance to sleep on it.  Once the initial shock wears off, you'll be more objective.  You might even begin to thank the critic for helping you see the flaws.  You don't need to reply to critics.  If you do, don't bite!

The rollercoaster

Some critiques will be mixed.  These are the most useful ones really.  Someone that can highlight the good points of what you've done and outline the bad is a gift from above.  The chances are that what they highlight matches the ego boosts and what they outline matches the assassinations.  These are useful critiques because they put your feet back on the ground.  You're no longer walking on air, but you're not down in the dumps either.  Use these critiques to do better in future by evening out the peaks and troughs, ideally on the upper level!

The nitpicking

These critiques might seem a lot like an assassination at first.  Again, walk away and look again when you're able to be more objective.  The nitpicker probably doesn't hate your work.  They probably just a few niggles with it.  Maybe you've done something that's a pet hate of theirs.  The thing with nitpicker critiques is to look at the things they haven't said.  They've probably only commented on a very small aspect of your work.  Because they're a nitpicker, they would have noticed if anything else was especially wrong.  They won't tell you what they liked as such.  They might say "I like this, but..." and then give their niggles.  Remember the liked it part and take note of the niggles.  Everyone has them so they might be worth avoiding in future.

The silence

You might put your work out there for critique and find in some cases you're met with a resounding silence.  Not to worry.  No news is good news, right?  Wrong.  Think about how you pitched your request for review and remember people are generally very busy.  I'm not talking about editors or agents here - they should at least let you know one way or another.  I mean your peers.  Did you tell them you'd selected them especially?  Might they think you've sent it to hundreds of people so they probably don't need to respond?  In the case of professionals, if you've heard nothing after a month, chase it up.  You should have at least had an acknowledgement.  Silence is not a reason to despair.  It's a reason to shout louder.

There might be other types of critique that you'll receive, but they usually fall within these general areas.  Remember at all times that it's your work and you have the right to ignore or act upon criticism as you prefer.  Of course, if it's your editor and you ignore their suggestions it could be a deal breaker, but that's when you negotiate!  I'll look at how best to react in my next blog on the subject.  Meanwhile, don't cry just yet.

The Prologue

A new blog and this is likely to be the longest post.  This blog is dedicated to my writing and publishing adventures hence the nod to my literary namesake in the title.

So what have I got to say in this first post.  I guess it should be the story so far and I apologise if you've been following the personal blog and heard it all before many times.

In April, I decided to publish some Kindle books to raise some money for my chosen charity.  Taking some of my cross stitch designs, I went ahead with three titles:

  

Following those, I put together an actual book through CreateSpace which is now available through all Amazon channels as well.  Anywhere you can buy the Kindle books, you can buy the book.

I couldn't be more pleased with the results of either - they look great and I'm promoting them as much as I can without driving everyone mad. The promo copies of the book arrived and I'm over the moon with them.

Next came the Union Jack Beanie on Kindle, a specially formatted pattern for Kindle use which also gives instructions on how to use the intarsia colour blocking technique:

The next thing was to build a website, julietfoster.co.uk, which I did using free resources, especially OpenCart which I can't praise highly enough.  For an open source application, it's unbelievable and saved me having to remember the coding skills I've all but forgotten!

Everything I sell on there is completely for charity.  Anyone who follows my personal blog will be aware that I'm wondering whether I should make that less apparent.

Next onto the website was the writing.  Two short stories are up there right now on the Free Stuff page.  Meter Man and Journal of a Cat of Leisure by Foobyevsky.  

Writing is my lifelong passion although by now you may have already deduced that being creative in any way I can is what drives me.  I'm working on a novel and a collection of short stories at the moment.  Which is published first will be determined simply by which is finished first but something will be out very soon.  My writing goes under my chosen name of Juliet McHugh for myriad reasons that are really irrelevant unless you're me!

What I write is mostly fiction, some poetry and occasionally limericks for a bit of light relief.  The fiction will be out long before I'm ready to share any verse.

I'll post updates about what I'm working on and how it's going on this blog and via Twitter (@fdbyjf) and on the facebook page https://www.facebook.com/FDbyJF and sometimes on the website although this blog feeds into that and I must stop duplicating information on there!

I hope you find something you like among my creations!